Kent Hovind Trial Surprisingly Boring

kentHonestly, I was looking for forward to the Kent Hovind tax evasion trial. O, you don’t know who that is? He’s pretty much the greatest mind in the universe, enlightening the masses to the ways of young-earth creationism, KJV Onlyism, the New World Order, and baptist landmarkism. He was arrested and convicted in 2006 but now he is in trouble again for mail fraud and an array of other crimes related to his original tax evasion charges. Given Mr. Hovind’s internet popularity and the size fanatical following, I really hoping for something more exciting than a dozen Duck Dynasty fan club wannabes and obnoxious street preachers. There were no potentially violent escalations via open carrying middle aged men standing outside of the courthouse. There no homeschoolers screaming about the finer points of how Obama is the Antichrist. In fact, there was barely any coverage of the trial or the protests outside of the courthouse. It’s so boring that even Right Wing Watch hasn’t posted something about it. Privately, I was hoping that the Fundamentalist Messiah himself ,Jack Chick, would show up riding a velociraptor. Alas… I was severely disappointed.

But seriously… look at this protester’s beard. I’m impressed.

Alan-Hoyle-Hovind-Supporter-1

“I bet no one thinks that this is a Bible.”

Central Ohio native “Coach” Dave Daubenmire is there too and has been following the story. I met this guy in high-school once. He definitely can project his presence. He likes to tell other people how to raise their kids, even though he couldn’t raise his own son correctly. His son is a convicted sex offender. Psychologists examining him concluded that his “repressed upbringing caused him to seek sexual experience vicariously, rather than engaging in age-appropriate sexual conduct.” Honestly, I’m disappointed that he hasn’t been more vocal on the topic. I mean, at the very least the guy is entertaining.

kids

These kids look bored out of their mind.

bus

Deep down inside I really want this bus to be a transformer.

I suppose that the small number of protesters in probably a good sign. My boredom is but a small price to pay for a lack of public support for a strange fundamentalist sect.

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